I. A CONCEPT OF THE
FAMILY
The family
is one of nature’s masterpieces.
GEORGE SANTAYANA
(Spanish philosopher, 1863-1952)
Nations past and present admit that the family plays an important
role in society. In trouble times, in order to reestablish security and order
in society, people always emphasize the solution of consolidating the family
because the family itself is the basis of society. Therefore, after the Second World
War, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights adopted by the UN General
Assembly on 10 December 1948 defines, “The
family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to
protection by society and the state.” [Article 16(3)]
The family is a unit of society, constituting and greatly affecting society.
Indeed, citizens who fulfil their duties towards the motherland, compatriots,
and fellow-creatures are always those who have enjoyed a good education from
their families. Where does the way of man come from? Caodai teaching answers, “The way of man comes from the family.” [1]
Criminologists as well as experts on social evils
realize that most offenders and those who are regarded as worrying burdens of
society have ever suffered misfortune in their childhood: They lacked a family;
they grew up in troubled families; their parents lacked love for the children
and also faithful love between spouses… Therefore, George Iain Duncan
Smith (born in 1954), the UK
Those unfortunate children can sing the blues, as Clarence Darrow
(1857-1938), American lawyer, once said, “The
first half of our lives is ruined by our parents...”
According to Vietnamese tradition, in any situation, the family is always
the last citadel or fortress which is to be thoroughly respected and resolutely
protected.
The traditional ethics of Vietnamese people always attaches special
importance to strengthening the family foundation, defining the authority of
the family head, and teaching every member to harmonize individual interests
with the common ones of the whole family.
Having the same idea, Pope John Paul II (Polish, 1920-2005) said, “To maintain a joyful family requires much
from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to
become, in a special way, the servant of the others.”
The ideal of all Vietnamese families is how to achieve and maintain
harmony and homogeneity; thus, filial
piety and fraternal duty are perennial values of ethics respected by
Vietnamese families. Filial piety means
loving, respecting, and supporting one’s parents. Fraternal duty means loving one’s siblings, and respecting elderly
family members. Belonging to Confucian ethics, these two virtues are mentioned
in Confucius’ Analects (1:6) as
follows: “A youth, when at home, should
be filial, and, abroad, respectful to his elders.” [3]
According to Vietnamese tradition, whenever troubles arise in a family
due to conflict of interests amongst individuals, all family members should be
conscious that they themselves are to satisfactorily handle problems by
“washing their soiled linen at home”, absolutely avoiding any lawsuit so as not
to hurt blood relationship or “air their dirty laundry in public”;
consequently, they will not lose their family honour or bring humiliation upon
themselves.
The above words mean that every family trouble should always be dealt
with on basis of sentiment rather than reason, although the reason might have
justice. Sympathizing with this subtle choice, one will easily agree with what Reinhold Niebuhr (American theological professor, 1892-1971) once said, “Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice.
It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.”
HUỆ KHẢI
